How to Feel Successful When Trying to be a Mom-preneur

“I can stay at home with the kids and while they sleep, I can work on my new business venture.” Those are familiar thoughts that run through many women’s minds when motherhood transitions to mom-preneur.

I mean, what’s not to love about these thoughts? Ideally, it’s the best of both worlds. But best doesn’t come easy when trying to balance a new business like a 9-5 job and motherhood that takes up more than a regular day at the office.

I remember my corporate days when I used to daydream about being a stay-at-home mom to a pet gold fish. Since, I haven’t acquired any pets, but my two beautiful children have accounted for the half of the equation of this mom-preneur thing. I’ve always been creative and could probably spit out million-dollar ideas by the hour. Oh, maybe I can get paid for these… Eeek! Ok, pause… See, there I go again.

Having these ideas become a fruitful business is not an easy feat. Trust me, I’ve tried a few. Somewhere along the way my enthusiasm fizzles or the countless hours (and money) spent on these ventures pierce my business spirit and crush it. But it’s not only my business spirit that feels burnt; it somehow manages to crush the rest of my soul as the feelings of defeat sink in. Then the downward spiral of comparisons with all the Pinterest and social media moms who are either making a killing selling essential oils or baking the next Disney cake feeds that soul crushing beast.

Nothing like soul food to get over your own pity party. And it’s moments like these that pave way for the light rays of soul searching. It took me over a year to get deep with myself and not only ask what I wanted to do but Why I wanted to do it. As Simon Sinek said in his TedTalk, “Start with Why”, and that landed with me. For me, the center of my Why is about helping people create change in their lives. Whether it’s letting go of what no longer serves them or going after a new goal. The best part is that it resonated so deeply with who I am, that I no longer feel like I have to chase the next business venture.

This has taken pressure off the chase and allowed me to reframe it in a way that I now utilize that energy to create moments of productive dialogue with my kids. When they ask “Mommy, what’s your job?”, I say “just like your sports coach helps you with soccer, I help grownups get better at other parts of their lives.”

If you’re a type A personality like me, you may like to measure success and mostly quantitatively. Not making a six-figure salary or having a steady paycheck has stroked some chords to my competitive self. But what I have been learning in the process is to remind myself that success for me these days can be measured, and mostly qualitatively. Yes, dear mom-preneur, success can be measured by the quality of which you are doing things. You should sit in this perspective from time to time. Spending time with my kids and being able to have these rich dialogues on our drives to school is time invested in shaping them to be conscious humans and good citizens. Their questions allow me to share that not all jobs mean going to an office, that helping people comes in a variety of ways, and that mommies do work – and a lot- whether that’s growing a business and/or being a dedicated mommy. We are the one part of the population that never clocks in or out.

So how do we climb out of this bottomless pit of insecurities and vulnerabilities? By taking inventory of small measurable daily goals. After all, we’re already skilled at checklists. See, you already started with a win.

Everyday when you wake up, think about what’s the one thing you want to accomplish for the day. One thing is a step forward. Then, before you go to sleep, think about what was the one thing you accomplished in order to move the needle forward. Perhaps your daily accomplishment isn’t solely about crushing numbers for your business. Wins can come in different forms-reaching out to old friends, talking about what you want to do at your kids’ school or simply jotting down ideas is part of moving that needle. Qualitative. I recommend sitting on your ideas for a short period of time as a benefit, not only so you don’t run out like a wild goose on the next chase but also so you can savor the joys of your creations.

This isn’t to say that you aren’t to have some defined measurables. I recommend writing in your planner your daily, monthly, and quarterly goals. But how do you hold yourself accountable? Challenge yourself to share these with someone you know will not cut you any slack. That’s one of my favorite parts of being a coach, because my job is not to sugar coat things like sometimes your mom or spouse does because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Find that one person who will say “hey, get it done and text me after.” Up the challenge by setting a realistic goal, for example, send 3 emails in day; then up your goal to 5 instead. This small challenge can create motivation and feel good pressure. When it’s all said and done, not only will you have surpassed your original goal, but you’ll be feeling like the next contender at a boxing ring. Lastly, remember to celebrate the small wins. And hey, if you want to treat yourself to a weighted gold boxing belt, you do that because you sure earned it with your high achieving mom-preneur self!